Re-Evaluation of Things

It's been a few weeks since I wrote anything. Mostly due to another failed cycle, and we were not so sure where to go from here. There are so many new things going on right now and I had gotten to a point where I was having trouble keeping it all straight. We have made a few decisions to take some of the pressure off.

Currently I am studying to get my brokers license and have to pass to keep my job. Said job is new so that has been a big adjustment. It is the most challenging job I have ever had. I am not saying that is bad... just different. I actually use my brain, it has been dormant for so long that I thought it didn't work anymore!! LOL Just kidding. I can't wait to have all of this studying and pressure over.

Currently our house is scheduled to be done Feb 7, 2008, Yep! that's my 35th birthday. I have been dreading turning 35. Maybe if I already had kids I wouldn't feel this way, actually I know I wouldn't. It just adds all this extra pressure do to my age, like time is running out. I know that it isn't it just makes things a little difficult.

Anyway, we have decided to hold off for now on the baby project. Just until I get licensed and know that I won't have to find another job. That could pose to be difficult if I am pregnant. I have to make sure I have a good job for this house, Rick can't do it all on his own and we are a team. We have seriously also been talking adoption. Not as in 'if" but when.

My friend Tarah has told me about an agency that if you volunteer the process is basically free. The only thing is, you have to be married 3yrs and we are at the 1 1/2 mark. So when we hit that mark we will be adopting whether or not we get pregnant. We know there are so many children who need parents to love them. At this point though that is the goal, to be parents. Yes I will morn the loss of possibly never being pregnant, but the end result will be the same. I will be a mommy.